7 Tips on “Putting Yourself Out There” at Writing Conferences

In June, I had the opportunity to attend the Thrillerfest Conference in New York City for the first time in three years. At this point in the pandemic game, I don’t have to tell you that booking the hotel and airfare were scary enough, but traveling via plane and subway with thousands of other people rubbing up against your ribs would be a nightmare. So, I will skip the conversation about risking my health and tell you that it was time to be brave. With three vaccinations in my arm and over a dozen N95 masks in my book bag, I knew I would be well protected while traveling to the U.S. conference for a week.

I, like most writers, am considered an introvert. So, attending a writing conference to start conversations with strangers face-to-face is not only intimidating but also terrifying. So, to appear like the extrovert that I wanted to be, I decided to take it easy, relax and be stress-free. I only concentrated on one goal for the conference: To make new friends and connect again with my old ones.

Every decision I made throughout the week was calculated to conquer that goal. I know you are probably asking why I wasn’t searching for an agent, landing an editor, or gathering blurbs for my debut novel. I have my reasons. The biggest one: My debut novel still wasn’t quite ready for people to read. 

However, I wanted to use the conference to my advantage as best as I could, before I ever have a novel ready to sell. If you are waiting until your book is a few months out from being published, you will be too late. You need to make connections long before that ever happens. The easiest and most genuine way to do this, is to support other authors. Buy their books. Read them. Write reviews. Be the cheerleader that every author dreams of. It is easy. You don’t even have to work at it, it will come naturally to you.

One of my #5amwritersclub friends, Ralph Walker, asked me months before the conference to meet for Friday dinner during the conference. He said that he didn’t know who would be at the meal, but it would definitely be other writers. This was the one thing I knew I could look forward to and I was grateful for his invitation. It ended up being one of the highlights of my week.

What I didn’t know, is that Ralph does this at every conference he goes to. He will meet new writing friends and invite them to join him for a meal. This is a brilliant idea. He makes a reservation for eight people and wings the guest list. Ralph also invited me to be on an author panel for one of his Friday Morning 5am Virtual Donut Parties about “Putting Yourself Out There” at writing conferences. I was nervous to talk to 30 other authors, but knowing this topic inside out, helped me hit the highlights of how to make a conference work for you.

Here are seven of my tips for putting yourself out there at a writing conference:

1.) Be professional.

Dress casually, but professionally. Leave the swear words at home. Be prepared for people to Google you. Hopefully, you already have a website and social media accounts where people can find you and contact you. Some writers hand out business cards or gimmicky merchandise. This is totally up to you.

In my opinion, you don’t need a business card. If you are interesting, kind, and memorable enough, the people will already know you from your previous interactions on social media, or they will look you up as soon as you walk away.

Example: At one of the cocktail parties, I spotted a fellow Canadian writer, Samantha M. Bailey that I had never met in person before. We have chatted on social media for a couple of years and supported each other often. When our eyes met fifty feet away from each other, both of us raised our hands into the air and screamed like we were at a rock concert. We ran to each other and hugged it out. It was like we had known each other forever. Gathered around Sam, were a few writers that I had never met before. We were all instant friends chatting about our writing projects and future careers. I posted that photo to Instagram and hash tagged #Thrillerfest and we all found each other that way. Therefore, the business card wasn’t needed. The in-person meeting was wonderful and social media came in later by connecting all the new writing friends.

2. Be prepared.

Know your genre and sub-genre. Know your elevator pitch in case someone asks you what your book is about. Please don’t use more than one minute to tell them. Otherwise, they will get bored. Use one or two sentences at most. 

Remember, you have no idea who you are sitting beside at lunch. This random person could be a Literary Agent who doesn’t tell you who she is until after you have put your foot in your mouth. Twice. (Not me, but this happened to someone sitting beside me).

Example: A woman sitting across from me took control of the table, by asking everyone who they were, where they were from, and what their book was about. I liked her personality. She mentioned some of the books she loved reading and they matched my preferences. I thought we would make great writing buddies. So, while we were all eating, I slid my phone into my lap and searched her name. 

That’s how I found out she was a Literary Agent (and a writer) with a well-known agency. She hadn’t mentioned it to any of us. She knew when I glanced up from my phone and smiled at her. She said, “You just Googled me, didn’t you?” I was honest and told her I did. Then I said, “It is a good thing I don’t write erotica.” She laughed. The rest of the table was silent, probably wondering why I blurted that out. The Literary Agent felt the need to explain that the words “no erotica” were listed on her website. We laughed together. We were instant friends. She said she was looking for my kind of story, and she told me to send my manuscript to her as soon as it was ready. This was an exciting bonus because I wasn’t expecting to meet a Literary Agent over a simple lunch with strangers.

3.) Find Your Tribe

It can be hard to put yourself out there, but it is necessary. If you can be brave enough to talk with as many people as possible, you can find other writers who might live in the same area as you, who are looking for a critique partner, or someone who has experience polishing up novel pitches. Also, be open to having lunch or a drink at the bar with other writers. This one needs two examples.

Example: Being brave, I bolted over to S.A. Cosby at the first cocktail party and I had to fan girl all over him. Shawn writes crime fiction, and has been winning awards as often as I eat chocolate. I had to tell him how much I loved his work. He was friendly and gracious, and answered all my questions about his stories. We talked about how he created some of his main characters (mainly, Bug), and how he developed one of my favourite short stories, “Sugar”. I ran into him and his wife a couple of more times during the conference, and we talked funeral homes and how picking up dead bodies was a common occurrence in their lives. It was so fascinating for me. I loved every minute of talking with them.

Second example: Crime Writers of Canada sent out an email to all the members and mentioned they were gathering at The Library Bar at the Thrillerfest conference hotel. I replied and said I would join them. Only four Canadian writers showed up at the bar that night. It doesn’t sound like much of a party, but several other people joined us. One guy was a retired FBI Agent (also an attorney) from Maryland. We talked about his novel, and I gave him some ideas that might make it a little bit better. We talked about pitching and marketing his novel. We sat in the bar for hours eating, laughing and telling stories. We exchanged contact information, and he told me my name was going into his Acknowledgement page at the back of his novel. I told him he was on stand-by for any FBI questions I would have about any of my future novels. All good things.

Plus, after I questioned him as to why he thinks I am searched hard at the border crossing every single time I enter or leave the United States. Truthfully, it is a simple answer. He said it is because I am listed on the FBI Investigation List with the RCMP due to my all-day visit to the FBI Headquarters in NYC a few years ago. They need to investigate every visitor thoroughly before you visit their Headquarters. It is a long story, but at least I know why it is happening, which is a giant relief. The RCMP don’t know the reason I’m on the list, they just know the FBI added me as a person of interest. Therefore, they think they need to watch me in case I am a trouble-maker, not because I am extremely suspicious and might be smuggling books across the border.

4.) Introduce yourself.

Attend author panels and author sessions where you admire the writer. Have you read their book? Did you like it? Sit in the front row. Make eye contact with them. Listen to what they have to say. When the panel is over, stand up, and introduce yourself to them. Tell them how much you loved their book. Don’t fake it or lie about it. Be specific. Be genuine. Everyone loves fans. 

Be bold and ask to have your photo taken with them. Most people are thrilled to do that with you. They might even ask for a copy of the picture so they can use it on their social media and tag you in it. This is a win-win promotional situation for both of you.

Example: Arriving early, I sat in the front row for an interview between Author Mark Greaney of the Grey Man series and his editor, Tom Colgan (also Vice-President, Editorial Director at Penguin Books). It was a great interview. I have purchased every single Mark Greaney novel that has been published thus far. I asked Mark for a photo and said I wanted Tom in the photo too. Tom comes running over to us, reads my name tag, and gets all excited, shouting, “I know that name! It is so nice to meet you in person, Lori!” He knew me from Instagram and Twitter and wanted to shake my hand, hug me, and thank me for all the support I give to him and his authors. Both Mark and Tom are amazing guys. So friendly.

5.) Be adventurous.

Are you a crime fiction writer? If so, it doesn’t mean you can’t attend the political thriller sessions and meet the guys who write the books your husband loves to read. Plus, you might learn new tips and tricks on adding suspense, including a fight scene or inserting A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) into your novel. 

Go into these sessions with an open mind and absorb everything new that you can. You never know what you might want to implement into your story. Plus, these guys are handy to know if you need an Apache helicopter pilot to fly you out of a dangerous situation someday or some Navy Seals to extract you from a pirate kidnapping situation. You never know what kind of trouble you might get into when traveling in another country. Plus, it is always a pleasure to read their books and go on numerous adventures with them without leaving your own living room. AND, they make excellent Father’s Day gifts for your husband.

6. ) Travel with a writing buddy.

When you have the opportunity to travel with a writing buddy, it makes everything just a little bit better.

You have someone to worry about you while you are out wandering the streets alone taking photos of random things. You have someone to ride the subway with at midnight while you make your way back to the hotel. You have someone to take a few extra days of vacation so you can explore the Liberty Island and Ellis Island boat tour. You have someone to have lunch with in Bryant Park and people watch with you. You have someone who shares your passion for books and makes the reservation to tour the Polonsky Exhibit at New York Public Library. Someone who figures out how to buy a weekly unlimited pass for the subway, so we can make as many tourist errors of getting off at the wrong place as we want.

Honestly, the biggest advantage of having a writing buddy with you is that you can split all the costs of the taxi from the airport to the hotel and the hotel bill. New York City is an expensive place to visit, so having a partner in crime goes a long way in having a stress-free visit. Plus, it is always great to have someone to laugh about everything with. I have attended the Thrillerfest conference with Colleen Winter for four years now, and it has always been a memorable time. Check out the photo of us masked up and standing in a hot and humid subway station waiting for a ride. Always the question… “Should we just walk? Would it be faster?” It always depended on what shoes we were wearing at the time and how tired we were after a long day taking writing workshops and making new friends.

7.) Make a pinkie-promise.

What is a pinkie-promise?

A pinkie-promise is when two people touch or link their little fingers together to indicate that they will keep a promise.

So, while I was attending the Friday night dinner with a group of writers, I made some drunken pinkie-promise about nailing a mutual deadline on our current individual manuscripts with Ralph Walker. Truthfully, I only had two cocktails before going to dinner, so I wasn’t actually drunk with alcohol, just the overall giddiness of having dinner conversation with other writers and making a writing promise.

Deadlines work wonders with me.

Knowing I have to hand in the completed manuscript on the Labour Day weekend is both scary and exhilarating. I need to whip my manuscript back into shape, because it is currently in pieces as I manoeuvre through a new structure for it.

Unfortunately, if I don’t hit the deadline, Ralph will tell the Twitterverse and all my 5am writing buddies will shame me. Joking! The 5am writers are really a fantastic support system for me, and no one would even care if I hit the deadline or not. But, I would know and that’s all that really matters right now.

Conclusion:

I could talk all day long about the benefits of attending a writing conference in person. This year, I attacked my goal and came away from the conference with many new friends, plus I received lots of hugs from so many old friends that I should be good to get through another whole year without them. 

Now that I am back home, the introvert in me wants to hide out in my basement with no windows and have no interaction with people. I will need to recharge for a couple of months before I go back to another conference and try that whole extrovert thing again.

If you have any questions about attending Thrillerfest or any other writing conference, please feel free to reach out to me via my website, Twitter, or Instagram… or leave a comment below.