I thought that when I retired I’d write.
I mean, I’ve always written, but I thought I’d “retire to writing full time.” it seemed like a no brainer.
I figured people would be asking, “Where’s Kelly?” and others would answer, “Oh, he’s writing. Can’t tear him away from it.”
That’s what I thought
But something else happened in my life that I wasn’t really expecting. And it wasn’t some tragic end to my dreams.
Yes, I dreamed of idyllic days of tickling the keys of my laptop and letting streams of words that pleased me tumbled onto virtual pages to be sent to people to read and respond with impressions and suggestions. But now, those dreams are shelved.
A funny thing happened on my way to retirement
Funny? You decide.
A person I adore looked at me and said, “I think you’d make good stay at home parent material.”
Funny to me in retrospect, as in I wasn’t expecting that. But I did not laugh.
I truth …
I truth, I cried. Joyously. I’d always wanted to be a father. I thought I’d lost out.
Opportunities for parenthood do not come knocking on the doors of people my age very often.
And now, 22 months into fatherhood I’m here to say it was the right decision, just not the write decision.
I do have to confess that my style of writing is not conducive to being a father. Or perhaps being a father is not conducive to me writing. I cannot write three words then run to see what that crash was, then come back to my keyboard with my train of thought intact. In fact, I cannot maintain that train of thought through the seven seconds it takes for my lightening fast, parental-hormone enhanced reflexes to catch a sticky little hand reaching quickly to help me hammer on the keyboard. Once caught and released, the chubby hand of the squealing, laughing child is all my mind has thoughts of, that hand and the love it holds grasped tightly, as it is whisked away by the new centre of my shrunken universe.
Am I Done?
Is this the end of my literary career? Am I to never be heard from again? Can I possibly go radio silent, uncommunicative, speechless for the balance of eternity?
Perish the thought dear followers. I have a new and cunning plan.
I just two or three more years my son will be off to school. At that point in time I feel that I will likely, after a brief few dozen months of mourning for my lost time with him, once again return to my keyboard. At that time I intend to finish my long awaited, at least by me, first novel. I hope I can remember my character’s names by then, don’t you?
