Is anyone else secretly enjoying end of the world planning? To clarify, I mean this only in the context that we know that it isn’t actually the end of the world. Let’s stick with the story version where we think it could be the End but in the final moments of the story, we’re saved. Hopefully by some greeky scientist–and what the hell, a female scientist — a woman, her colleagues have previously belittled. Our plucky heroine creates a cure with the help of a sidekick who never passed grade 10. Because if I was writing this story, that’s what would happen.
So while we wait for Alice–yes, let’s call her Alice–to save us, we can prepare for the end of the world. In complete safety.
First, I need to remove the spikey creature that has taken up residence in my body. At first I thought I might be sick or swallowed an alien, but it turns out that the spikey monster is called Anxiety. It wakes me at 2 am like an annoying cat kneading my chest with its paws. Then it squirms into my stomach and by morning, it has lodged into my throat. I thought I might be sick with IT. But no fever, no cough. Who knew that Anxiety could make a body ache like this? And sometimes it disappears only to reappear at the most surprising moments. It happened to me last Wednesday causing me to buy a hundred dollars worth of vegetable seeds. Yep, that anxiety monster has a crazy appetite.
Let me back up a moment to explain. I did not jump on the toilet paper panic train. Not because I wasn’t highly anxious about critical supplies but I have experience from my years of camping plus a year in India. This has taught me how to both ration TP (I survived for 6 weeks on 1 roll) and when necessary, find many alternatives. If things get tough, TP will likely not be what I am wishing for. Although it might make my long list for the top 200 essential items. Currently it’s vying to take paper towel’s spot.
When Trump first got elected, I believed that we might be facing the start of the end. Back then, I bought salt. That might seem like a strange reaction. But I read the book, “Salt: A World History” years ago and it obviously made an impression on me. The book outlines how salt used to be as precious as oil. Since we’ve discovered how chemically to create salt so we are no longer dependent on natural salt deposits. I figured if the end of the world is coming, then salt might be useful to have. More than TP. But ever since my salt buying panic, I have pondered about what to buy if the End of the World ever came and gave me enough time to impulsive buy.
Now faced with another possible collapse of the modern world, I bought seeds. This is as irrational as the TP since historically, I fail as a gardener. Still, a moment of panic on a Wednesday morning found me at Home Depot rapidly picking up seed packages. I couldn’t even buy the right kind of seeds because for some reason I ended up with three packages of cilantro.
On Thursday, I seriously thought of panic buying a goat. Remember Prim from Hunger Games? She had a goat and this gave her some small advantage in being able to make cheese. Though I do wondered how she was able to get milk with only one goat. Fortunately my rational self kicked off the pesky anxiety beast. If things got desperate enough that I need a goat, I likely have bigger problems.
My second emergency purchase is pencils. This happened on Friday. I recall a radio interview with Margaret Atwood who claimed to take 2 pencils on any plane trips. Her rational was that pens can be unreliable and taking two, because then you had a spare if one broke. If this is truly the end of the world (which it isn’t really because Alice will save us–thank the heavens for Alice), I want to be able to write out my final impressions of the End. If there is ever a time for journal writing, now is that time.
With social isolation, we should in theory have more time than ever to write. But I am willing to bet that most of us have not found more time, but less. The irony of it! Instead, we are faced with finding ways to keep our family entertained and preventing our household from descending into an updated Covid-19 version of the Lords of the Flies. Plus, it can be hard to write with anxiety lurking around every corner like a crazed mad man about to slit your throat.
Despite these challenges, take your hoarded pencil and journal for five minutes every morning. Now is a perfect time to observe the world and your own reactions. Record small details. Use all of your senses of what you are seeing, hearing, smelling and touching. Have a cup of coffee (or tea). Enjoy a quiet moment. And try not to panic buy a goat. It will eat all of your cilantro plants.
