How do you like your sex?
Oops, I mean when you read a book, of course…since this is a G-rated blog about fiction writing and novels.
I write quite a bit of sex, since I’m the author of a dozen published lesbian romance novels. And no, it’s not easy. And yes, it takes way longer to write a sex scene than to actually perform the act in real life, in case you’re dying to know.
Pretty much every romance novel today contains some element of sex, and sex is present in many other genres as well. Sometimes the sex is simply implied or hinted at…the old fade to black routine. But most often, it’s fairly graphic.
In romance novels, the main sex scene — the coup de grace — between the two main characters is called the “big payoff”, although you might also have sex in your novel that is more of a secondary nature than an instrumental element of the love story. Why is it called the big payoff in romance novels? Because you’ve been working hard scene after scene to build tension and attraction/chemistry between the two characters, so once they have sex, it feels like a pressure valve being released because the characters are finally consummating their love. The scene makes all your hard work come to a climax, if you will (okay, bad joke!).
There are a few things to consider when writing sex. When is the act going to take place? Early in the book? Mid-book? Toward the end? Will your characters have sex with other people before they get together? And once the big payoff happens, will there be a secondary sex scene (which could be makeup sex or simply showing the reader that the characters are still madly in love)? Once you know the answer to these, the next question is how graphic do you want to make it and how/where will it take place.
There are as many ways to write sex as there are ways to have sex, so I won’t go into all the options. But a couple of nuggets of advice:
1) Before your main character(s) have sex, make sure they are fully formed and that you’ve successfully demonstrated chemistry (if not love) between them. Otherwise, the sex comes across as frivolous or window dressing. If you choose to have your main characters indulge in sex very early on in the book (sometimes even in the first chapter!), you’ll need to work backwards from that point and build chemistry and love before they have the big “payoff sex” later on.
2) When you do write the big payoff sex, do not fall into the trap of writing it too mechanically. You know, the old, “and then the third and forth fingers of the left hand did such and such while the thumb of the right hand did this other cool thing”… Yeah, not very exciting when it reads like a how-to manual. Don’t detail your scene to death. The best sex scenes work because we care about the characters and we’re in their skin — feeling, seeing, smelling, sensing — the things that they are. Let your sex scenes heighten the reader’s emotions and deepen the feelings of love between your characters.
3) If you’re writing sex as a sidebar for a book that is not a romance novel…let’s say you decide that your detective in your mystery novel should have sex, decide early on if it’s necessary. Does it add something to the story? Does the act reveal important things about your character? If the answer to both those questions is no and the sex is simply gratuitous, it probably doesn’t belong in your book.
Now go forth and write lots of hot sex!
