Do you sometimes feel like a failure as a writer?
Okay, wait. I probably shouldn’t have phrased that as a question, because every writer has, from time to time, had to deal with feelings of failure. In fact, it’s pretty much like the crazy uncle who keeps showing up to family dinners, whether you’ve invited him or not.
I hear often enough from writers who are struggling to get published say they feel like a failure when they get rejection letter after rejection letter. And that’s to be expected. But I’m also talking about published writers, superstar writers who make six figures, as well as writers who don’t necessarily care if they get published.
I’m going to hazard a guess that ALL writers cope with feelings of failure. I’m also willing to bet that it’s epidemic among us.
I’m talking about feelings of failure that overcome us when we don’t meet our word goals, when we don’t meet our sales goals, when we fail to win awards every time we submit, when our story isn’t coming together, or when the idea for our next book doesn’t magically come to us.
When we’re overcome with feelings of failure, we feel shitty about ourselves and our work. It feels like we’re never going to get that book written, that we’re never going to get published, or if we do, nobody’s going to like it.
There are plenty of psychology tips on feelings of failure (go ahead and Google it as I did). The experts tell us that it will make us stronger and better, that we can handle failure, and oh well, it doesn’t matter anyway.
I don’t like failure (or feelings of failure). Like most others, I want to succeed at whatever I set my mind to, and I want to do it effortlessly. But of course, that would make me incredibly blessed, ridiculously special and rare. So…not gonna happen. I don’t want to hear that Pollyanna stuff about putting your head down and doing the work, and success will follow. Because it doesn’t always.
I don’t have a magic answer on how to cope with feelings of failure. But I want to tell you that you’re far from alone. And I would like to suggest altering your definition of success, and thereby your definition of failure. Are you setting a realistic goal for yourself? And even if you are, sometimes shit happens that’s beyond your control. Those readers or reveiwers? Yeah, well, they’re not all going to love your work, so there. And word counts? Fine if you need it as a motivational tool, but if it doesn’t work for you, don’t sweat it.
Life is ALWAYS going to get in the way of what you love to do. To fail is human. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep plodding on? Trying your best even under challenging circumstances? The bottom line is this: if you’ve got something to say and the passion to say it, you will do it. Even if it takes a lifetime.
