In the Dr. Seuss book, Hop On Pop there is a page that shows two rambunctious children and a father looking quite worn out. The words say,
“Dad is sad.
Very very sad.
He had a bad day.
What a day dad had.”
My son enjoys that book. I enjoy reading it to him.
My son loves books, and at 20 months of age he is even starting to recognize two or three simple words in print.
How does that make me feel?
Ha, I’m sure you can guess. I’m elated with him. He is a gift and I am one of that gift’s recipients.
But today? Was this a gift? I’m writing this a day in advance of publication. It is Sunday. I love every day, though some of them are challenging.
Today I spent the afternoon on the back of the dragon boat in the harbour in Owen Sound. I was already tired when I woke up this morning. We had packed for the cottage on Saturday, and driven what we packed up to the cottage, returning home to spend the night and be ready for the boat.
We didn’t get everything packed that we hoped to take, but we got most of it. So today, Sunday, we got up, finished packing, discovered we’d no baby sitter, called on another sitter who thankfully was able to spend the afternoon with the boy, and headed to the boat slip.
I love the water, but …
Today I took four crews of people out onto the harbour, steered them from one end to the other, and brought them all back safely. As many as half of each crew was new to dragon boating, a chance to try it out as provided by the WaterFront Festival. I brought all four crews back safely.
That may not seem like much of an accomplishment to many, but a forty foot, manually powered boat is not always an easy thing to steer and we had a bit of chop and some brisk breezes to contend with. My partner, our boat’s coach, did an excellent job of initiating the newer paddlers, thankfully and we made four easy departures and four safe landings look smooth.
But as I said, I was tired
I was tired, and I was remembering that I had this post to write. Also I have a radio show to write this week. Also I need to build a gate on the deck at the cottage to keep my son from wandering away as he is likely to do at this carefree age.
So as we started driving here this evening I was feeling sad, very very sad. What a day dad had!
I was feeling rather burdened. As I drove I thought I might try to come up with subject matter for my radio show, or even an idea for this post.But my mind kept going over the things I need to get done and not bothering to consider how to do them.
I chose to relax
Now that I’m older and clearly in the second half of my life I often give myself permission to relax and forget about such burdens when it becomes clear that I’m not able to do anything about them for the moment. So instead, I chose to consider what my son must be thinking about, riding in his seat behind me.
My mind reached back into my past and asked my memory to allow me to experience what it might feel like to be him. I conjured the image of a summer night with the sun an hour from setting and the day’s clouds having cleared away to show a blue sky. I added in the country roads we were traversing, ones from my childhood that held suggestions of visiting friends and relatives for summer evening gatherings.
Then, unbidden, to my mind came the dancing flames of campfires, the idea of sleepovers and camping and roasted marshmallows and laughing, running children and the happiness of leisure.
I told you my son is a gift
And I told you I am a recipient of that gift. And one of the ways he keeps giving, is the happiness I feel, the ease with which the joy of memory comes now that he is here to remind me of myself.
And even the inspiration that he offers, the love of life he reignites for me.
I’ll take that, and I’ll share it with you.
